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I get to be the one

Hello again! We’re in week two of kindergarten at home! I’m always ready for lunch time after a morning of learning. The girls are “resting” at the moment. I have a caramel macchiato from a friend yesterday, so I’m loving this few minutes right now.

I’ve always wanted to be a mom. Like always. I coerced my little brother to be the “dad” of all my baby dolls. I played orphanage many times. I adopted all my babies, took care of them, and taught them school.

I also wanted to be a prima ballerina. And an Olympic gymnast. And an actress. No chance at being a Radio City Rockette since I will never reach the minimum height requirement! I had lots of dreams and still do. Always in the background, I still wanted to be a mom. I know what it is like to fear not being a mom, but that’s another story for another day.

Here I am with a birthday approaching this Wednesday and four girls under my roof. As I reflect on life with my birthday arriving on time as usual, I continue to learn more about life. What I have spent time focusing on has shifted as I have grown. My perspective changes as I grow and learn and change. What I have valued over the years has shifted and matured.

I think that maybe chasing chubby little crawling legs may be a greater gift than chasing recognition. Or fame. I think maybe what we think of as “small” may actually be really big. Maybe teaching a precious human being created in God’s image is bigger than I thought. Perhaps placing a bandaid on a booboo is impacting society just as much as being a household name. Maybe it is more important to be a name in MY household than in anybody else’s. Maybe following dreams is great, but following my babes as they chase butterflies is just as important. Maybe seeing my name scrawled on a piece of crumpled construction paper is cooler than seeing my name in movie credits. Encouraging the little lives that grow in this house is maybe the most important job I will ever have. Maybe I have no need to post about my day. Maybe nobody else but me has to know what I did today - that I loved my people at my house as best I could. That I made today a special day. That we made the ordinary extraordinary.

I get to be the one to hold you for the first time. I get to be the one to teach you to swim, cook, read, and be a friend. I get to be the one to show you everyday how much you are a treasure

I get to be the one to demonstrate God’s love to you. I get to be the one to tuck you into bed each night. I get to make beaded jewelry with you. I get to fix your hair. I get to make your hair bows. I get to be the one to watch your smile and giggle each day as I greet you and pick you up out of bed. I get to be the one God is patient with as I make mistakes with you. I get to be the one you call “mommy” and put your grubby arms around. I get to be the one you call to and run at when I pick you up from childcare. I get to call you “mine” as you grow and pass milestones. I am the one who gets frustrated when you make too much noise at rest time but realize I will miss it one day. I am the one who just wants to ride in a car by myself, but when I do, miss singing songs with all the tiny voices in the back four carseats. I get to be the one to be there when a boy hurts your feelings and tell you he wasn’t worth it anyway. I get to hold your hand. I get to be proud of your accomplishments. I get this gift.

I hope to be the one you call first when you are older and on your own. I hope to be the first one you run to always. I hope you always feel safe with me. I hope you always feel loved by me.

Whether you impact lives in your home, in your job, in Sunday School, or somewhere else, you are bigger than you think. Perhaps these moments with these people are what makes life extraordinary. You get to be the one to make a difference in a child who is adopted into your family. You get to be the grandparent who teaches your grandchildren. You get to be the one to teach a group of kids who get to learn about God’s love. What a gift. What a blessing. These moments are the ones that make life grand. These moments are the ones worth remembering. I hope you have a great week and enjoy these birthday thoughts.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

James 1:17

Love, Charis

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