...but my dog just had surgery!

Happy first day of March!

I usually blog when my three girls are napping, but they do not always nap at the same time nor do they always give me a huge chunk of time to work with, so we will see how today goes! Many times, I end up trying to get them in their rooms, keep them in their rooms, or at the very least from pulling dirty clothes out of the laundry basket and wearing them. Seriously, my two year old, who loves Sofia the First, has this nightgown she loves to wear, even when it's been in the dirty clothes. She pulls it out and puts it on from her feet instead of over her head, so it looks like a "dress." That is disgusting, first of all, but finding her in that, with the sheets from the bed strewn about on the floor, I find myself in a "great mood." I end up sitting down to blog, not exactly feeling super spiritual. Blah.

Today, however, I'm listening to my wind chimes outside the open back door. It's quite idyllic, but we shall see how long it lasts...So this year, so far, I have been learning, well, not necessarily by my choice, so I guess I will say God has been teaching me to learn to be content and trust, even when circumstances are wild, crazy, and out of my control. Often, I wish it was socially acceptable to stomp my foot and even throw myself on the floor when I do not get my way. As I mentioned before, we had been praying for and working on buying a house and getting out of our moldy rental house for almost a year! We were hoping to be in it before Christmas and before our new baby was born, but we spent Christmas in a condo, brought a new baby home to a condo, then at one point, thought we were not going to be able to move into the house we had a contract on! Living out of sterilite boxes with a baby I did not get to decorate a nursery for was (and is) not my idea of a great time. I realize that, as with every situation in life, there are blessings, and things could always be worse. I get it. I am thankful for a healthy baby girl. I am thankful we had a condo to stay in and not just a hotel room. I am thankful we had a safe place to stay. Let's get real, though, because at the time, I was wondering what God was doing. We saw God work so many details out to get us so close to buying our first home, so when it almost did not work out, and it took two months longer than we thought to move in, we became frustrated! Not to mention on top of this chaos, our beloved German Shepherd baby girl wrapped her paw around some wire on New Year's Eve, which caused an immediate infection, and the veterinarian had to take her leg.

The week she had surgery, we were still in the condo indefinitely, waiting for paperwork to be completed. Each day, there was more to complete for the house or an issue to reconcile. We had about five closing dates set. I also began to feel useless in my own personal life, as if God was through with me. We prayed as a family daily for the house and for our doggy's paw. We knew the doctors would try to save her leg and just take her paw, but we found out they had to take her entire leg. After praying like crazy for these things, I just cried in disbelief because even the dog's leg was not taken care of as I had prayed!

Bad day as it was, I decided to go read my Bible at Dunkin Donuts nearby. As I was about to turn onto the side street, and some older gentleman, out of nowhere, passed in his car in front of me and shook his finger at me, as if I was about to pull out in front of him. With tears streaming down my face, I took the not-so-Christ-like approach and shook my finger right back at him, saying out loud, "You don't even know what's going on...my dog just had her leg amputated!" I safely arrived at Dunkin Donuts, ordered a cappuccino, thinking for some reason it would taste chocolate-y, but after I put it to my mouth, realized, this was not Starbucks, and it was straight coffee. Ugh, ugh. Gross. I hate wasting money. I drank it anyway. After tasting my less-than-stellar coffee, I opened my beloved laptop and discovered several shatter marks in the screen where, apparently a child who likes Sofia the First had slammed the computer shut on her amulet necklace. Are you serious?

I was almost to the point I dreaded getting up in the morning because I was getting nervous about what would go wrong next! Anybody ever have those days? I have felt spiritual warfare before, but never like this period of time in my life. I literally felt weight on my shoulders the past few months! I suppose I am glad because we must be trying to live for the Lord and do something right or the enemy wouldn't prey so heavily on us. At the same time, it is a bit scary because we "do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places" (Ephesians 6:12). We probably should take this into account in our lives more seriously more often! The good news is, the enemy may have power, but God is bigger. He wins. He already won.

My husband and I prayed specifically for many things during the past several months together. We also talked a lot about whether we are "all in." Are we all in for the ministry God has for us? Are we willing to go or stay where God calls? Are we willing to trust Him when it does not make sense? I truly believe for myself, I was fighting a spiritual battle with this house. God wanted to know whether we, as a family, were "all in" for the ministry He has for us here. There would be no point in purchasing a home if we would just need to move on soon. I wanted to be all in, although I did not like everything going on. After praying together, we know God has plans for us here, though they may be difficult to see at this moment. We also know it would be easier to move on and find something different, even a different occupation other than ministry. I also know we would not be content to find something outside the passion God has given me (and us as husband and wife) for ministry.

I have told the girls I have had in small groups that sometimes we have to get up each day and give our struggle over to God. Whatever is causing us worry or stress, we sometimes give it to Him, then take it back, give, then take... Sometimes it requires giving it back to our loving Father many times a day. I am no different. I believe we finally came to a point we both knew we are "all in" in the life He has given us here. We were able to move into our home at the end of January. I fully believe we waited for this blessed house because God wanted to bless us with it, but we also waited because we needed to be all in for His plan in His ministry in south Mississippi.

Have I gotten it all together? Oh, of course not! I simply hope that my sharing this with you is encouraging to you in your life! I pray that you find rest and the hope that Jesus Christ gives! Have a happy rest of your day! Despite a few false alarms, I was able to write today with no interruptions! It's a win at my house! :) Much love to you!

Love,

Charis