that kinda feeling

Hello, my friends!

Yes, happy New Year! It has been a little while since we talked! Our little girl was born December 11, though we were not expecting her until after Christmas! After our little Christmas present was born, we also were planning to be in a new house, but alas, we are still waiting on that too! I did get a break today and was able to go to Target ALL ALONE! I am actually drinking coffee for just a few minutes ALL ALONE as well! How was your Christmas? Do you have plans for 2016?

New years equal new beginnings and I love fresh starts. I mean, really, who does not love second chances? For the sake of being authentic, 2015 was truly one of the most difficult years of my life. I mean from beginning to end. In January, our family experienced betrayal by people we trusted and loved, then job instability. I broke my ankle in February and had surgery, so I spent over three months taking care of two children while using crutches (I changed all diapers on the floor). The summer was chaotic, and trust was being built again with people we trusted. We thought we would be in a new house in September and it is now January and we are still waiting. We received our baby girl, so God blessed us with her in 2015, and for that we are so grateful.

Most people post blogs about organizing and resolutions for the new year, and I am excited about all those things too. I also want to be real and I know not everything is super great for all of you. There is pain and there are disappointments. I am still praying about some myself. What are you going through? Some difficulties from last year are still spilling over into this year. I get it. I want God to just do something to make it feel better. I am sitting at Starbucks and the song about how He is a good, good Father is playing! It definitely goes along with my message here today. Sometimes i know we have to simply know it in our heads that He is good even when we do not necessarily feel it in our hearts. Our emotions can catch up later.

So far this year, I am working on trusting God even when I do not want to let go. Let go of many different things, I mean. I am careful about saying "God said..." but I know when God wants me to do something. I can best describe it is a relentless feeling that does not go away until I have done whatever the (usually difficult) thing I am supposed to do. I am feeling it now. Some of it is also God changing my heart. I think that God understands when we try, even if we are not clicking our heels with joy, but instead still do not want to do what He is calling us to do. I think He, as a good Father, sees our willingness to try even when our attitude is still apprehensive and scared. Not often, but now is one of those times when every sermon and song relates to what I am going through with God! Really? LOL

I love personal examples, so I will share one of these times. When I was looking at colleges, I had said I did not want to go to one particular one. I tried out for cheerleading at another school, made it, and had a roommate with a girl I knew from high school who was going to play basketball there. Sounds like I had it made. That nagging feeling, though I knew was I did not need to go there, though it would have been the easiest choice. I ended up going to the school I said I would never go to, and cheered there instead. I am so glad I did, too. I thrived there.

A more adult choice happened recently, when, during the paperwork for our house, we realized we should probably sell our nice, new van, and save some money. The suggesion came from my dad, who is a Christian, and has solid advice we can trust. My husband and I both knew we needed to sell it -entertainment package, GPS, roominess, and all. Although I cried, I knew we needed to, and I knew God was not going to allow anything else to happen until we were willing to sell it in order to save money. We changed our attitude, decided to sell it, as difficult as it was, and that very week, took it to trade it in. I just knew we would get a crap-mobile. Surprisingly we were able to save money and get a very cute vehicle, actually. Besides all the fun features the van had, it is just as good or better as what we had in the van. I love it! It does not always turn out that way, but I had THAT FEELING that God wanted to change my heart and let go. When I was willing to let go, He made it even better for us. By saving money and letting go of the van, we now have a cute SUV that is roomy enough for three carseats in the back. Do I deserve that? No, I do not. Thank God for His kindness. He loves me at my worst!

What are your goals for this year? Are your struggling to let go? You are not alone! He is a good, good Father. I keep reminding myself of that, too. As we do this life together, let us remember that His way is always best. I know I am reminding myself of that daily in my struggles as well. Happy THRIVING 2016! I look forward to seeing His blessings in my life and yours!

The Lord is for me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?

Psalm 118:6

Love,

Charis