He gets it

Good afternoon! I don't know what kind of week you are having but this one is good but exhausting for me! We have had warm, sunny weather, so we have been able to sit out on the patio and soak it in and for that, I am thankful. These crutches however, are free to disappear!

This is week seven of not walking since I broke my ankle and had surgery and I am praying tomorrow the surgeon says I am free to walk around. Not gonna lie, there have been many days I dreaded getting up because I didn't know how I was going to make it through the day. We have been blessed with amazingly kind people who have come over to help out with the girls and get lunch out for me, put them to bed, cook, and clean. The last two weeks, all family is gone, so I've just been trying to make it on my own since we have no family within twelve hours. Staring at the walls most of the day because I cannot drive gets OLD quickly. It gets awfully tempting to feel sorry for myself when I sit in my house alone for many hours in a day. There are funny times too, though. The other day it too poor EK 20 minutes to crawl from her room to her high chair in the dining room. L tries to help her follow us to the kitchen but there is only so much she can do since she is not even two yet. It got really interesting around here today when EK exploded in her cute skirt I put her in and I had to figure out how to crawl around the bathroom to get her a bath without putting weight on my ankle. That's right, there was no salvaging that outfit! I hate that I cannot run over to them when they cry. I also may or may not have given L cookies for lunch because it was easier to get to than her fruit :) It's difficult to maneuver crutches around in tight spots, especially when a wobbly baby is trying to crawl and somehow always ends up underneath me - I have almost fallen backward many times!

Before Daddy leaves in the morning, we go to the girls hallway which includes a room at each end with a bathroom in between and a gate to keep them in the hallway. We usually stay there all morning until lunch because it's safe and their toys are in there and they can go back and forth. And we do this most every day... sometimes it's an accomplishment just to watch the clock tick and get to bed time without incident. Sometimes I just want to jump in the car and head to Chick-fil-A for a frosted lemonade just break up the monotony and enjoy a sweet treat.

Crawling around gettting lunch for my 22 month old and eight month old gets tiring. Humbling is also another word I use to describe it too. Depending on others and being unable to be self-reliant puts life in a new perspective. I am not sure what all God is teaching me and I think that's okay sometimes. I know I have slowed down a LOT. Perhaps He is using this time to speak to me in ways I don't even understand yet. I usually move quickly and am self-motivated to get stuff done. I am loving moments spent with L and EK, though. We go nowhere in a day because I cannot drive, so we have spent lots of time together, finding small ways to have fun here that does not require movement on my part. I don't pretend that this is the worst situation ever - it only seems unending, while there are many worse scenarios. I know that it's not over yet. I am breathing. He still has a plan.

I don't know what frustrations you face today, this week, this month, or this year. It could be a friend at school who has been critical or unkind. Maybe a marriage with difficulties. A relationship that fell apart. An illness of some kind. A job you dread going to everyday. Criticism from family. Friends who have turned their backs. I do know Who does know, though. Jesus Christ is right here with you and with me, feeling what we feel and completely understanding every thought. It helps me to remember when I cry, He cries too. He may be God, but He also understands what it is like to be human because He became human for us. When you wonder who loves you, remember what He did for me - and for you - He died - and is alive again. He didn't do it for no reason. He is here.

He understands. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet he did not sin. Hebrews 4:15

He loves you. But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. Psalm 86:15

He is with you. Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold onto you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Lift your eyes to Him. He knows. It's not over yet! You can make it.

Love,

Charis